because that's what engineers do...

we see a problem and solve it. real simple. not necessarily easy. but VERY simple.

i'm not giving up until my work is done and the problem is solved.

never not working!!!

no tv, no sleeping, no idleness. just a constant grind inching toward the goal. it's so funny how success and accomplishment look so easy, but it's just smoke and mirrors. it's hard.....well.....maybe not always hard per se, but it ALWAYS requires EFFORT.....and lots of it. you get out what you put in. for those of you on twitter, i would encourage you to follow some successful people and make it a point to closely monitor the timestamps of their activities. i would put money on it that those successful individuals go to bed after you and rise before you. i bet you! (good look on the assist O)

the great renaissance artist michelangelo said it best:

'if people knew how hard i worked at my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful.'

.......and there you have it. it doesn't get much more clear than that. however, michelangelo, i think that the REAL reason people hold successful people in such high esteem is NOT because we think they are great with such relative ease.....NO........i think deep down inside we really know how hard they busted their tails to be successful and THAT my friend is what we are secretly praising in celebrating these individuals because we feel that we could not live up to that standard of work ethic! knowing how hard you worked makes you that much more wonderful good sir!!!

that feeling that you are feeling inside right now is you telling you, 'hey, we can go a lot harder.' and yes, you can go harder. but here is the kicker that people really don't like: you NEVER know how long you have to go hard for!!! this eliminates 99.9% of the competition right there.

i'll leave you with this...

it's funny how people will work forever, for some damn body else, makin' scraps.....but.....they will not do the same, for themselves, for a whole lot more reward. it's crazy. don't worry, that burnin' sensation means that the medicine is working!!!

go hard, flame on, lock in.........whatever the hell you wanna call it

important but not interesting

it's funny how others can be so helpful in summarizing your situation simply by their ability to survey the entire situation from a higher vantage point. i have been fighting tooth and nail for the last month and a half or so with my research, and i could not explain so succinctly what the problem was. not expecting such a clear description of my dilemma, i went and chatted with a well-respected researcher here in the lab a week ago in hopes of gaining some new directions and ideas. the visit was helpful, and i did come away with a positive feel. however, the part that stuck with me the most was his description of my situation, that what i am undertaking is "important but not interesting."

after he said it, i was like 'wow, he perfectly articulated what i have been confusedly feeling for about 8 months now.' the solution to the power crisis is simple: turn sh*t off when it is not in use. the only problem with this is that computing and the internet have been classed as 24/7/365, instantaneous, and never broken. computing and the internet are never supposed to be turned off. the problem with this 'perfect' availability is how it is manufactured using imperfect hardware. this manifests itself as many redundant copies of the same damn data for insurance reliability purposes. not only does all this production hardware have to be on all the time. the back-ups have to be on all the time too. so whatever power is being consumed by the infrastructure serving requests, just multiply that by how many backups you have. crazy right!

i digress......the fact that my solution is to turn stuff off is VERY uninteresting, but VERY important. so......now i am in a situation where i am racking my brain trying to find an interesting spin for a given application space of turning things off and on without anybody noticing but the person responsible for paying the electricity bill.

p.s. - i just couldn't NOT post this link. insane, right. somebody tell the ny ball clubs that we are in a recession

excelling in your current situation always bears fruit

so i was doing some deep thinking over this past Easter weekend, and i began to think about how we can know that our hard work will pay off....you know, how do i know that i am working diligently in the right field/career/etc. and i spoke to a good friend of mine and posed this question. the response i got was that in whatever we are doing, if we continue to work hard and excel, we will always find our way to our destiny. this made a great deal of sense to me because i am a firm believer that there is direction and inspiration that comes from 'doing.' if we happen to be in the wrong career field,something that we are not passionate about but we know and are actively searching for our destiny through thought and research, we will eventually find our way to our passion.

congrats to michael jordan, the greatest to ever play the game

congratulations mj on being selected into the nba hall of fame.

dear self...

dear self,

i hope this letter finds you blessed and well. i am writing you simply to share some essential thoughts and feelings that i can no longer keep inside. our intensity, grind, competitiveness, goals, and determination have afforded us many opportunities and successes that most people will never achieve or that most people cannot fathom. many are probably envious. however, we know that there is so much more in store if we simply stay the course of fulfilling our dreams. our potential is limitless if we only continue fighting and working towards the constantly-moving finish line. we know it keeps getting pushed farther, but we enjoy it and keep reaching.

no matter where we think we are, we must turn the intensity up even higher. when we speak to other people, common responses are that we are smart, accomplished, set to get a good _job_. but, our frame of reference is so different at this point. similar to how lebron's perspective on money is focused on the warren buffets and bill gates (people with more money than himself), we have set our sights on individuals that are smarter, harder working, and wealthier than we are at present. and to that end, we must not let our sights slip. the bar has been set, and it cannot be lowered for any reason. laziness is not an option.

i do not want this letter to come across negative. it is meant to be strictly positive and motivational and inspirational. the work we have accomplished thus far is amazing, but our goal has not been reached yet; and, we must remember that. i know at times we may feel that we have possibly aimed to high. but, let me assure you that that feeling is the tiny remains of the dying voice of mediocrity and averageness leaving our body. it has been said that "the greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." (michaelangelo....our favorite ninja turtle for a reason)

- ah

(good look on the idea O-dubb---over there at moneyisjustanidea.com)

you are center stage.....now what

i feel like i have so many eyeballs on me, and that does nothing but add pressure because you know so many people want to see you do well. it's hard to explain the challenges you face day-to-day, and so many people think that there is a time limit to a phd. no, you can clearly be doing a phd for as long as you would like. you don't simply get one because you have been here for X number of years. a lot of what lies beneath the surface is damn near impossible to understand until you have been there and done that. it's similar to my pledging experience: no matter how much people tried to prepare you for the journey, you really don't know what you are getting into until you experience it first-hand.