and yet another...

the nytimes is running an interesting article on "children covered by Medicaid [being] given powerful antipsychotic medicines at a rate four times higher than children whose parents have private insurance. And the Medicaid children are more likely to receive the drugs for less severe conditions than their middle-class counterparts, the data shows." [free registration required]

it is terrible and scary that this is occurring. but, what is even more terrifying is the fact that you have 'educated' idiots that do not see any problem with this. (see comments in the slashdot article here) these bastards are so busy with their pissing contest to see who is the smartest that they totally miss the point of the article. the article ain't about 'is our study correct', i mean hell, this work has been accepted to a PEER-REVIEWED medical journal!

i guess this is just what happens when you are so far removed from reality and the extent to which people are struggling and hurting in the world. you just don't know any better. what do you expect, most of these commenters probably were using computers in the 70's and did not want for anything. so they probably don't give a damn anyway...until too many 'undesirables' begin to move into their neighborhood...and the concern is again in the wrong place.

constantly convince yourself

here's an interesting sit-down by esquire magazine with fifty. some definite gems in the responses. of particular interest to some prevalent thoughts as of late: 'sometimes you do need to convince yourself through convincing others.'

preciate that fifty

the grind don't stop

we work non-stop in order to achieve the goals before us. nobody but you can tell if you are working too hard. i think people say things like "don't work too hard" without realizing that hard work is what life takes. i don't see the basis for statements like these from individuals that have no idea of what your goals are. how do others know how hard you need to work when they have no idea what you are trying to accomplish? even so, how can people that have not accomplished what you are trying to achieve give you advice on how to do it? as jay-z says on already home on his blueprint 3 album "everybody wanna tell you how to do it, they never did it." is this just another unconscious word vomit....i think so. even worse, perhaps this may stem from a deep-seated 'sour grapes' or 'crabs-in-a-bucket' mentality that does not want you to succeed more than them, or more than they were willing to work for.

not everybody has your best interests in mind, and it is your responsibility to filter the things that people say. some people don't want to see you succeed---and the scary part is that they might not consciously know that they want you to fail!!!

we don't lose because we have already won!!!

me = ali, phd = liston

nuff said.

submitted and chillin'

i successfully submitted my dissertation on friday and have been chillin' ever since. it's been a huge load off, and i am thoroughly enjoying the relaxation that has resulted from this milestone being achieved.

my last 12-hour day

just getting home and settled from work, and i was pleased to know that this will be my last 12-hr day in my office in the lab. i swear fighting this dissertation is more than i anticipated, but it will all end tomorrow when i submit it. the roller-coaster of emotions, ping-ponging back and forth between feeling extremely confident in my work to feeling like it's a bunch of crap has been almost too much to handle in the last couple of weeks. getting feedback on your dissertation can be a pain in the ass too because it requires others to sacrifice so much time to read it, and most are not willing to spend that time. so, you are left reading all 180 pages yourself and it all looks the same to you. it's like a waste of damn time. it definitely has me wondering whether or not my experience is the norm or if my loneliness in my work is an exception. it's funny because my advisor did not even have any specific comments about it. i mean really. if your advisor doesn't read it in detail in order to give you feedback, then who is supposed to?!?!?!

i keep tellin' myself it will all be over soon, but i cannot wait. at this point, i am extremely tired, frustrated, and ready to get the hell back to the us.

good night