my last 12-hour day

just getting home and settled from work, and i was pleased to know that this will be my last 12-hr day in my office in the lab. i swear fighting this dissertation is more than i anticipated, but it will all end tomorrow when i submit it. the roller-coaster of emotions, ping-ponging back and forth between feeling extremely confident in my work to feeling like it's a bunch of crap has been almost too much to handle in the last couple of weeks. getting feedback on your dissertation can be a pain in the ass too because it requires others to sacrifice so much time to read it, and most are not willing to spend that time. so, you are left reading all 180 pages yourself and it all looks the same to you. it's like a waste of damn time. it definitely has me wondering whether or not my experience is the norm or if my loneliness in my work is an exception. it's funny because my advisor did not even have any specific comments about it. i mean really. if your advisor doesn't read it in detail in order to give you feedback, then who is supposed to?!?!?!

i keep tellin' myself it will all be over soon, but i cannot wait. at this point, i am extremely tired, frustrated, and ready to get the hell back to the us.

good night