in the midst of a valley

i should have realized that my feelings yesterday were foreshadowing to the next few days. as stated many times before, this phd process is full of ups and downs. and i am definitely at a down point in my work. as much as i thought that i had a clear idea of my research, i am still kicking and flailing as opposed to swimming smoothly along. on top of this, i am letting the big picture of my phd consume me as opposed to tackling the small tasks in front of me. it always baffles me how i can articulate my problems most times, but it is so much easier to recognize what is wrong at times instead of fixing the problem. it's definitely time for a pep talk. whether it be from me or from someone else, i need one bad.

i think i am beginning to get homesick (and i am not even 3 weeks in yet.....my goodness i am weak) as well. i tried to fool myself into believing that i was content with my life in cambridge, but the truth is beginning to shine through. on my way to work this morning, i began to think about all of the things one has to deal with in life outside of work or school, and i cannot imagine having to deal with much more (marriage, family, kids, etc) than the "little" issues i have day-to-day. hats off to all those individuals that manage to juggle everything while maintaining their sanity.