Thursday, February 02, 2006

welcome to research

just as easy as research can excite you, it can make you absolutely mad too. on monday when i started writing this VERY simple program for a microcontroller, i had no idea, it would still be in progress 3 days later. and even worse, i could not figure out why the program wouldn't work, and had to submit a request to microchip themselves. this has thoroughly frustrated me. to top things all off, my potential phd research work that i spoke to my advisor about a few weeks ago, and again on this past tuesday, may not come to pass as expected. i spoke to a more knowledgeable researcher in hardware, and he did not have too many positives to say about my ideas. i was more depressed than angry simply because things seem so overwhelming at this point. the topic i thought i had, may not be. there are so many other researchers and phd students with everything rolling along, and here i am with nothing........not even an idea. i try and keep reminding myself that this is a 3 to 4 year process, but i still feel that i should be more sure of my work and ideas by now. maybe i am wrong. maybe i am just trying to rush things. or, maybe i am just ready to get started, do some great research, and finish school. whatever it is, i have to learn to not allow this weigh on me so much. when things are going well, it is very easy to come into the office, and when things aren't going so well, it can be a nearly impossible task to get up and come into work. it was extremely hard for me to come in today.

9 Comments:

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