Wednesday, February 25, 2009

oh, the ups and the downs

as much as people try and warn you about doing a phd and how it is a "roller coaster ride" to the end, there is nothing like experiencing it first-hand. this journey has truly been a test of determination and persistence, and i do not see an end to it until i defend my dissertation. from the sidelines, it's hard to truly understand what a phd is, let alone, what the hell a phd in computer science is. no matter the field, it is essentially an "immersion into the unknown." and, one of the first times you really understand this is when you get deep into your research and you find yourself stuck---and you go to someone who is a million times smarter than you for help and their response is 'i dont know.' that's when it really hits you...YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. this (my phd) is my sole responsibility, and i cannot begin to imagine having a family to provide for in the midst of one of these troughs.

as with everything, persistence seems to be the consistent and never-failing solution to coming out on top. somehow, if you just keep at it, things seem to fall into place and you get inspiration and come to solutions/ideas.

in the words of a friend of a friend..."i'm cool with the exams life hands out, but these damn pop quizzes".....lol!

p.s. - my alma mater finally has a new president. i'm not sure how i feel about this cat's name being 'bud'

2 Comments:

Blogger Sarah said...

Hi there,
I know what you mean. It's really stressful at times. Some of your posts from earlier in your PhD mirrored what I was experiencing, and this does too. It's good to hear it tends to work out if you persevere... sometimes I wonder if I will ever get good at this research thing!
You seem to be nearing the end. Do you think you will stay in academia?
-Sarah

11:06 PM  
Blogger Ms. Engineer said...

I definitely found some inspiration with this post. I am a first year graduate student and it has been really discouraging at times when things don't go exactly as I planned. Now I'm trying to encourage myself to take one day at a time and know that if I keep focused, things will eventually work out. The best of luck to you with the rest of your program!

P.S. I share your sentiments when I read The Technique and saw the new president's name and picture on the front page : )

4:10 PM  

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