Thursday, May 17, 2007

taking inventory

reflecting on my decision to come to school way out here, i have realized a WHOLE lot of things. i don't have time, or space, to enumerate them all, but here are a few (in no particular order or priority):

1. this was as far away from home that i have been for more than 3 months, and one major thing i have learned is knowing what i want/need/desire in any place that i make my home (that is if i do not wind up back in atlanta). thinking about this yesterday and this morning randomly, i realized that probably most people could not give you a definitive list of must-haves when contemplating living somewhere other than "home."
2. i have been tested mentally and emotionally for longer periods of time than any other experience in my life. this is in no way fun as you are going through the tests, but i find myself looking at situations (past and current) and being amazed that i am still living and breathing. i often wonder what/how others feel and if they are dealing with issues this serious OUTSIDE of one's day-to-day grind.
3. i have never been homesick or depressed before coming out here, and it is hard for me to understand the cause because so much is involved. i don't know whether if it's being away from home or just the people i care about. the depression is a different kind of monster to deal with. it has its ups and downs, but i can always tell when it comes on because i start sleeping more..........and i NEVER sleep like that!!!

this experience has definitely put things into better perspective for me. i'm just ready for the situation where i can be around the one i care about forever!!!


Blogger mbou said...

Yeah, I understand. It's hard being away from the one(s) you cherish.

9:34 AM  

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