playing catch-up

trying to jump into a totally new subject/environment has been a big process of my phd'dom since i began. whether it be trying to immediately understand where someone else's train of thought ended or expecting to understand a new subject matter right off the bat, the entire situation can be more than frustrating. trying to determine what you "should" already know and what is "common knowledge." it tends to make me feel inadequate at times, but then i realize that i have expertise in other areas..........that this feeling is self-contained to the particular topic. it sure would be nice to not have to feel like you are the only person that doesn't know something though. i do not know why i make myself feel like this at times. i guess that is the motivation for me to work as hard as i do until i understand material. i know that i am competent, but there are times that i get caught up in comparing myself and my weaknesses to others and their strong suits.

*motivational advice to self* -- rome was not built in a day young grasshopper and you cannot expect to be an expert the second you see something. give yourself time to practice and let it soak in.